


The Nurse Who Loved Me

by godscantsleep



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Denial, Doctors, Drug Use, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Hospitals, Insomnia, M/M, Nurses, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, sickle cell anemia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:08:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godscantsleep/pseuds/godscantsleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody likes being in hospitals, so why would someone work there? No matter because a nurse lives in your apartment and you have nothing better to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> wow, look at me. making a whole new god damn story instead of finishing my other two. bow howdie, do i hate myself. anyways i got the title from this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQhnD_EtpIQ&list=PL6Ix27BYZlY-ll3Z2ajvT7lEH_dJn4eWY&index=71
> 
> i do have shit actually planned like beginning to end so yeah, don't expect too much.

I remember my first time being in a hospital, the bright lights and crisp smell of disinfectant. I was about 9 and Bro had injured himself during a strife, well I injured him. A large gash laid on the side of his right arm, because I hit his dominant arm he couldn't repair it himself so we had to go to the emergency room. I remember sitting in the front seat of his truck, staring at his right arm as he managed to steer with his left. His face was blank, like it always was but the dim lighting of the street lights cast a dim shadow over his face. He wasn't angry but proud of what I did, my young self took the pride and called it love.

While Bro was sitting in the hospital room, getting his arm patched up I stealthily slipped out to explore the new surroundings. While staring at a man getting his cast removed something caught my eye, a tall man speaking with a nurse. He was tall and somewhat muscular, messy brown hair and mocha skin. Although his appearance seemed intimidating he spoke gently to the shorter nurse, quietly I approached the two. 

"It has never been this bad before though, what happened?" The man spoke with a worried tone. 

"Mr.Vantas, sickle cell anemia is unpredictable I'm sure you know." She glanced over Mr.Vantas' shoulder into the room behind him, I followed her gaze. A young boy was in there, laying in the light blue clad hospital bed holding a stuffed animal crab while an older boy who looked almost exactly like the man outside sat in the chair next to him and talked. The younger one looked bored out of his mind, looking everywhere but whom you assumed was his brother, he spotted you lurking in the doorway and frowned while clutching his crab closer. The nurse continued; "You know the complications of the surgery sir, though I would recommend Karkat should receive that treatment when he is older." I turned my head to look at the nurse and Mr.Vantas, He sighed and ran his hand through his dark shaggy hair.

"I-I know," He looked back into the hospital room where the older boy waved. "He's just been through so much already. Thank you ma'am." He gave the nurse and nod and walked into the room, closing the door while I ducked away to return to Bro. 

"There ya are little man, c'mon we have some training to finish up." He patted me on the back with his patched up arm and led me back to the truck. I wanted to ask what sickle cell anemia was but didn't because I was tired and it had been a very long night. 

\---------19 years later----------

"Holy shit Dave, are you ok?!" John stumbled down the stairs to my aid.

"Naw man,I'm fine. Should have warned me though." I started to sit up, smirking to the great reference I had just made. John slapped my arm.

"Dave you just fell down like two flights of stairs. don't make dumb references now, we have to get you to a hospital!" He tried to help me up but I waved his hand away.

"No I'm fine, really." I stood up completely but the back of my left leg felt funny, I took a step and almost fell but John had caught me. 

"No no, we're going to the emergency room." He started to drag me to the front doors of my apartment complex, good thing I fell into the lobby.

"Bro, come on." I allowed myself to get pulled into his hilarious old minivan that his father gave him after high school.

"Don't even try to argue with me boy." He said in a mocking tone and I laid down in the back seat as Egbert drove.

 

"Well, this is nice." I looked round the emergency waiting room, people hacking up lungs and kids sneezing all over strangers while parents just sat there on their phones, a really nice place overall. 

"C'mon Dave." He helped me hop on one foot into a chair then walked up to the lady behind the window. I looked around, it was tempting to pick up one of the pamphlets but I don't know how many kids wiped their boogers on them so I decided against it. John sat back down next to me.

"It'll be about twenty minutes." He spoke, handing me papers to fill out. I leaned my head against the back of the chair and groaned.

Twenty minutes later I was shown into a room, the bright lights made me uneasy. The nurse helped me get up onto the table she was pretty, long strawberry blond hair and round glasses.

"Glad to know she'll be my nurse." I leaned back and told John, she layed my legs onto the table and looked up. 

"Oh, I'm not your nurse but he should be here shortly along with your Doctor." She smirked and left the room. John snickered behind me as I sighed, leaning back to balance myself on my arms.

"I'm gonna go get some water." He said before leaving too, I leaned to the side and pull my phone out of my back pocket. It was 5:19, just then you got a pesterchum notification.

\-- tentacleTherapist  [TT] start pestering turntechGodhead  [TG] at 05:20--

TT: Dear cousin of mine, John has told me you're in the hospital?

TG: yeah, the president needs a heart transplant and only i can help

TG: its for our country rose

TG: do you hate our country rose?

TG: gasp my cousin is a communist, this is all adding up now

TG: im sorry mr president

TT: Dave, please.

TG: sorry,cant talk to any russian spys, my hot nurse is here

TT: Dave.

 

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]  at 05:26-- 

 

The nurse actually is here now, just looks like a typical nurse. Blue scrubs and stethoscope draped over his neck. He was looking over a clipboard then up at you.

"Hellooo nurse." You smiled but he scowled, he was having none of this tonight. He let out a long breath before speaking.

"What's the matter?" He spoke with a monotone voice like it was the 100th time he's said that today, I could make a mix of that.. "Hello?" He spoke louder after a couple second of I not responding. I were about to answer but a tall older woman walked into the room with an evil looking smile. 

"I would like it if you didn't speak to patients that way." She made the nurse jump and swiftly move out of the way as you chuckled a bit.

"S-sorry Dr.Pexies." He said and lowered his head, ready to write on his clipboard. She approached you.

"Now, what seems to be the issue sir?" She spoke like she was trying to give off a warm atmosphere but it felt cold and bitter.

"Well uh," You gestured towards your left leg. "I fell down some stairs and it's hard to walk on it I guess." She nodded and the nurse jotted this down, then John had walked into the room and was stared at the nurse and smiled. I didn't think it was possible but the nurse managed to scowl even more.

"Alright Mr.uh.."

"Strider is the name."

"Mr.Strider, please lift up your pant leg and walk around for me." I did so, awkwardly. She nodded and spoke quietly to the nurse who nodded along with her. 

"You can sit back down Mr.Strider, I would like to look at your ankle." 

"Can do Doc." I jumped back onto the table and carefully put my legs back in place.

"Please lay on your stomach sir." It was the nurse who spoke now, I flipped myself over and winked at him even though he probably didn't see it from behind my shades, but it's the thought that counts. Surprisingly, he gently moved the knee and observed my ankle's movements. 

"Yeah, you can sit up now." I did so, the nurse looked back to Dr.Pexies who nodded and left. He started writing on the clipboard again, he was closer now and I admit he's not half bad looking. Dark brown hair that was pulled back and mocha skin, I feel like I know him from somewhere. I was about to ask but John spoke up.

"It's so nice to see you again!" John beamed, but the nurse didn't seem too thrilled.

"It's always a pleasure seeing your face Egbert." He said with sarcasm, he didn't even look up from his paper.

"Wait you know him?" I piped up at John, situating myself against the pillows. 

"Yeah that's Karkat, Terezi's friend." He said, looking up at Karkat. Who stared back with a blank face.

"Don't worry Karkat, I'm still your friend too." John continued.

"Oh thank goodness, I feared that I would faint from a mere three seconds believing that I wasn't buddy buddy with a guy who still plays with those magic trick toys." He dramatically clutched his clipboard and put the back of his hand that was still holding a pen up to his forehead then promptly dropped them both to his sides. 

"Hehe, you were always so funny Karkat!" 

"Hilarious." He lifted his papers up again and looked them over.

"So what's the matter with him?" It suddenly sounded like he was a worried parent, fretting over their child.

"Well our buddy here has ruptured his achilles heel, he's gonna need a brace for about 4 to 6 weeks then some additional time to exercise it back to its normal self depending on what you do. He doesn't need surgery but if it doesn't heal enough in that time frame he might." 

"Oh jeez." John commented.

"Oh jeez is right but if he just keeps is elevated and not walk on it," He gave me a stern look. "He will be fine, just has to be careful not to re-tear it. Then we're gonna have some problems." 

"Alright, can do." I pushed up my glasses.

"Dave, are you ok!?!" And the second party arrives, Jade bursts into the room with Rose following close behind along with her girlfriend Kanaya, god it was like they were attached at the hip. I nodded at each of them.

"Dave." Rose said.

"Rose." I replied in the same tone, mocking her.

"What in the world happened?" Jade butted in.

"Ok, so there I was dumpster diving in an alley behind the Arby's right? Then a group of ruffians jumped me and-"

"He fell down the stairs and tore his achilles heel." Karkat interrupted, I looked up at him. He looked right back.

"Its very nice to see you here Karkat." Kanaya said, bringing him into a hug. He didn't seem too much into it but accepted it anyways. 

"Well I do work here, unfortunately." He replied.

"Wait so does everyone know this guy but me?" I asked, everyone nodded. "Well that's not fair."  
"Life's not fair, now i'm going to go get the stuff for your brace. Don't go anywhere." Karkat boldly said.

"Wasn't planning to." I added slyly before he left the room.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i have time to write now ill be making this fairly quickly so yeah, have it

The Hospital is pretty much all I know, I have been there most of my life.My parents had found out when I was 3 months old that I was doomed. I had inherited a genetic disease from my mother, sickle cell anemia. Where your red blood cells are half the size they should be, leading to limbs not getting enough oxygen. Pain and hospital beds were most of my childhood, which is probably why I got into the medical field. Because my mother also suffered from this, she was the only one I really connected to. When I was around 5 I was told that she would get a surgery to place stem cells in her bones so it would think to produce more normal ones but it was only a treatment, not a cure. My father then brought my brother Kankri and I back home, after Kankri insisting on my dad telling us where Mom was, he had broken down in a heap of tears. I still didn't understand but Kankri seemed to, he had taken Dad to bed and began to help me get ready to sleep as well.

"Kan?" I had asked after brushing our teeth.

"Yes Karkat." He started to dig through the cabinet.

"Wheres momma?" I still didn't know, Kankri acted so strong. He never liked crying in front of people.

"She's uh, not coming back home for... awhile." He slowly took my medication out of the cabinet and handed me one.

"Is she still at the hospital?" I said after taking the pill. 

"Um, sort of." He took my hand and led me back to my room.

"Well when will she be back?" 

"I-I don't think she will be Karkat." He tried to put me in bed but I pushed him away.

"No, she'll be back. She promised, you're wrong!" I yelled.

"Keep it down!" He whispered.

"Dad will know!" I ran passed my brother to my Dad's room, bursting in. He was sitting up in bed, he looked to me and Kankri, who just rushed in after. My dad smiled grimly. "Dad, where is momma?" I demanded. He sighed and moved the quilts of his bed over.

"Come here boys." He spoke. I stomped over to the bed while Kankri quietly followed close behind. After crawling into the bed, he pulled my brother and I close into a tight hug then pulled the covers over all three of us.

"You see boys," He started. "Your Mother isn't going to be around anymore."

"She left us?" I asked, nearly drowning in the thick blankets.

"She didn't want to but she had to Karkat."

"But why?" I pushed.

"Well...Because she was sick." He had to take a moment to think of the right words. Kankri was still silently sitting on the other side of the bed.

"Like me?" 

"Yes sort of."

"Am I gonna have to leave to?" Dad looked like someone punched him in the gut.

"No no no, Karkat" He pulled me up to hug his chest. "You'll never have to leave too" You couldn't see his face from there but you think he was crying, he then pulled in Kankri whom you think was also crying.

\----------23 years later----------

 

"Karbro." 

"MmmMm."

"I think you should all and motherfucking get up now." Gamzee said, prodding me with his foot. I swatted it away and sat up, head getting dizzy a little bit. I blinked up at him, I fell asleep on my living room floor getting high with Gamzee again, didn't I? 

"Shit, what time is it?" Last time I recall it was still in the weekdays so you probably had work down at the hospital but that place doesn't have a concept of working hours so you were probably late anyways.

"Uh 8:12, I think?" He was drinking sweet tea from a McDonalds cup from last night looking dazed.

"God dammit!" I jumped up and ran into my room, throwing on my uniform and quickly taking my medication. I picked up my keys and clipped my ID to my shirt, throwing on my backpack with everything else I might need.

"Ok, Gamzee. I know you have nothing else to do today so you can just chill here till I get back, please don't go through my meds." I was halfway out the door, he was staring at all the pictures on my bookshelf. Giving a thumbs up and endlessly drinking the tea.

"Can do bro."

"Dammit, dammit dammit." I whispered to myself, repeatedly clicking the down button on the elevator. Dr.Pexis will have my ass if i'm late again. The door opened and I stumbled in, I sighed and looked over to the panel. The first floor was already clicked because there was a second person in the elevator. I couldn't care less though, I was late and grumpy. 

"Karkat? Is that you man?" The familiar voice and use of my name caused me to glance up from the door. Oh god dammi-

"Haha, it is you! Do you live here or something or are we performing the walk of shame?" Dave fucking Strider no more, no less. He was standing beside you with a stupid grin and wiggling eyebrows. 

"Uh, yeah, no. Floor 6." I slowly turned my attention back to the door, ignoring the comments because I had no time for this. I were going to miss my bus. It had been a while since seeing the dick with the sunglasses. Just enough time for his ankle to heal apparently. 

"Oh, that is like crazy stupid. I live on the top floor"

"Yeah, yeah whatever." I tried to brush him off, bouncing my one leg.

"Whoah man, what's the rush?"

"Jesus, listen I don't have the time for this." You look at the time on your phone. 8:19 "Fucking christ, my train leaves in one minute so just please shut up while I come to terms that my boss is going to rip my internal organs out of my ass because of how late i'm going to be?" I frustratingly grip at the straps of my backpack and bounce my leg more. 

"Oh shit, well I could drop you off at the hospital. I was just going to the store anyways." Dave stated calmly, hands in his pockets.

"What, no. I hardly fucking know you!" I scowl at the offer.

"Well you know and trust John and Kanaya, people that I know and trust and i'm pretty sure you know my cousin Rose." 

"Pfft, hardly trust John. Don't know Rose too well but..." I look at my phone again 8:21, there goes my train. "Fuck me, alright. Just this once." I hold up one finger as if he needs clarity but you don't know, he could have gotten a head injury falling down all those stairs.

"Cool." As if my magic, the elevator doors finally opened to reveal the lobby. "C'mon, i'll give you a lift in my truck." I followed him hesitantly.

"Alright." I climbed into the front seat while Dave started the ignition, not even bothering with a seatbelt. I looked over the car, the seats were torn, mysterious stain on the side on the door and was that a tape deck? Do Cars still have those? I could hear how old the engine was. "This is a hunk of junk." I stated.

"Yeah," he patted the dashboard "But she's my hunk of junk." 

"She?"

"Well my Bro always called it a she."

"Ah, is this his car?" I had taken to looking outside, oh I didn't even notice that it was raining.

"It used to, he sort of gave it to me."

"Oh." The rest of the ride was quiet, the radio must have been broken or something or he would have turned it on. 

"Well, uh thanks for the ride." I stepped out of the car when he drove into the lot, I didn't mind the rain much. Sooner or later today it's most likely that I would be covered in something else.

"No probert bobert."

"What?"

"What."

That is when you gave up, shut the car door and walked into the building then he promptly drove off.

\----------

Ten. Ten hours of dealing with people that are barfing, sneezing, bleeding and basically leaking out of every available orifice. I want to impale myself with one of the fake potted plants in the waiting room, end it all. I hear the sweet siren call of death, my body is ready.

"Vantas, finished with those reports yet?" Ah here comes my supervisor, Dr. Serket, I swear to any almighty being that might actually be out there that she only became a doctor to witness the pain and suffering of others. 

"Just finished." I put all the papers in the folder and hand the document to her, where she flips through them.

"Wonderful." She just stands there and smiles at me while I begine to pack up my things.

"Um, do you need something?" I clutch the backpack straps.

"Oh no ,I just thought we could talk is all." She was up to no good, I sighed and leaned on the edge of the table. I knew there was no way out of this, talking is a thing doctors are very good at.

"Alright.." I gave in, letter her talk.

"So how is it going Karkat? Still 28 and single?" I knew she would talk about stupid junk like this. I have a theory that she like talking about the pain of others just to make her feel better about herself. I heard from Terezi that her mother forced her to become a doctor.

"Uh yeah, is there a point to you insulting me today? I need to get home and make sure my roommate didn't inhale any rat poison." 

"Ah, I see and hows your disease been doing lately?" It’s like she didn't even hear half of what I said.

"It's uh, doing fine I guess.." Everyone knew that I didn't very much enjoy talking about that, when I was sober anyways.

"I heard that you're getting surgery soon to take care of it?" She seemed pleased with herself.

"It's not going to 'take care of it' it's just a treatment but yeah, sometime next year. Why?" How did she know this only me and Dad had access the that kind of information. 

"Oh, I just want to make sure all of my nurses are in tip top shape is all!" She shrugged a bit, still with a grin on her face.

"Ok, well i'm just gonna go home now.." I backed up and left her, I could hear her saying good bye it's a sarcastic voice. Jesus, I should have never stepped foot in the medical field.

The train ride was as uncomfortable as every train ride I take, drug dealers asking me where Gamzee was, drunk pervs sizing me up. It was never fun, but somewhat entertaining when I tell them how they can go fuck off ten ways to Sunday. It was still raining so I was pretty much soaked to the bone when I walked into the apartment complex where it wasn't any better. I was shivering when riding the elevator up to the 6th floor, shoes making a slushing sound with every step I took. I try to manage to dig my keys out of my backpack when I realize they're gone. No no no, I don't need this shit right now. God, hopefully Gamzee is still there. I rush to the apartment he and I share. I frantically knock and my heart drops into my shoes when I see who answers it. 

"Oh, hey." Dave greets, Gamzee following close behind. Hes got a burger attached to his mouth. I push my way in, shoving Dave aside.

"What the shit Gamzee! Why did you let him in here?!" I burst, not even remotely caring that I was getting the carpet wet. He lowered the sandwich.

"Sorry buddy, you see I was gonna go get some food at Carl's jr right? Then I all up and bump into this motherfucker outside our door, he said that you dropped your keys in his car when he dropped you off at work, he gave me a ride to Carl's Jr so I let him wait here and eat some fuckin burgers till ya got back." 

"And you didn't think to fucking call me?"

"I lost my phone." He looked down to the floor, then took another bite of his food.

"Of course you did." I rubbed my face. "Alright, no. Fuck this, I am going to go take a shower. I don't need this crap." 

"We got you some fries though!" Dave called after me but I was already in the bathroom, starting the shower.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: drug use in this chapter

I really liked Karkat's apartment, it gave off that warm and homelike feeling that I could never replicate in mine. I just wanted to drop his keys off like just slip it under the door but I just got the pleasure of meeting his room mate Gamzee. He was an obvious stoner from the start but I didn't mind much, after a trip to Carl's jr he had offered to let me hang around till Karkat came back from work. I didn't see the harm, I was just going to hang around my room and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. It was my day off after all. Karkat returned home soaking wet and pissed, he stomped off to take his shower. 

"Is he always that peeved?" I asked while Gamzee and I sat back onto the couch, he started flipping through tv channels.

"Sometimes, my bro is just always taking care of other people and sometimes just hasn't got time for his motherfucking self." He shook his head and settled for the science channel. 

"Dude, why the science channel?" I mean, i’m all for science and junk but Gamzee just didn't seem like the type to watch this channel. He then stood up, swaying a bit.

"Oh, lemme tell you brother that this. This channel is all kinds of amazing, they perform these little miraculous miracles." He says, walking out of the living room and down the hall. Ah I see, it's the channel he gets high to. Suprize suprize, be comes back with a pre-rolled blunt and still babbling about miracles.

"So yeah man, its just so beautiful." He flopped back onto the couch and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. He didn't light it, just stared at the tv. I could hear Karkat stomping out of the shower and around his room, they must get a lot of complaints from downstairs. He appeared from his room with one of those electric warming blankets wrapped around his shoulders, he looked very tired. He stood in front of Gamzee as he pulled a hair tie off his wrist and gave it to him, Gamzee in return handed Karkat the joint and lighter. Sitting on the floor in front of Gamzee, he light up the blunt and further wrapped himself in the blanket while the other tied up Karkat's dark hair. 

"So what's Achilles still doing here." He said after the second hit, eyes focused on the screen. They were talking about black holes.

"What, don't enjoy my company?" I leaned back onto the arm on the couch.

"Repulsed by it." He breathed out, handing it back to Gamzee who still hand one hand in his hair. 

"I'm hurt man, I thought we shared something back in my hunk of junk car." I dramatically put my hand over my heart, he turned to face you.

"Wounded even?" He looked even more tired.

"Hurt Karkat." 

"Thats a shame." He turned back to the screen, Gamzee handed the joint back after Karkat stole his sweet tea. It was about half its original size now. He offered it to me without looking after taking a hit. "Want some?" 

"Is this peer pressure?" 

"Do you want the fucking blunt or not." He snapped, looking at me.

"Naw I'll pass." I waved it off, he shrugged and sunk lower to the floor. It didn't take long for him to nod off, anyone would fall asleep in that blanket while someone is messing with your hair. Even though he was asleep, Gamzee didn't remove his hands. 

"So, do you guys do it for medicinal purposes or have I made friends with the stoner kids?" I asked. It was getting cold, I wish I had an electric blanket.

"Haha, man your funny. But naw, Karbro here gets it legally. What a lucky motherfucker." He ruffles Karkat's hair then stood up. "I should get him to bed though, he's gonna be mad at me if he's late for work again." I stand as well, a little sad because I would miss the end of the episode. I could watch it upstairs though.

"Alright man, i'll see you around." I opened the door, waved good bye to Gamzee, who was in the process of picking Karkat up as gently as possible. He smiled and I closed the door behind me, walking over to the elevator. I hope that I didn't smell bad, the lady who lives next door would give me a firm talking to.

I get to the top floor and pause before unlocking the door. Nervousness washing over me, I always get like this before getting home. Never knowing what lied beyond, traps and stupid puzzles. I take a deep breath and open the door but it's the same, the same as it has been for awhile now. I walk into my apartment and observe the room, taking in every detail. I lower my head and remind myself that nothing would jump out and attack me because Bro had been dead for about 4 years now, leaving me his car and the apartment. I had cleaned up the place after two months of doing nothing, got the rusty swords out of the fridge and actually used it for its intended purposes. All his stuff is still away in his room along with all the puppets and swords that you didn't use for decoration. After about a year Rose recommended the I should get a cat or something, I didn't want to after remembering how many preserved dead cats Aunt Roxy has. Didn't feel right, you know?

I looked at the time on the stove top clock, 7:48. Jesus, I was over there all day. I go and sit on the couch, turning on the science channel. I have no idea why I haven't watched this channel before, science and explosions always combine perfectly. My phone then dinged from my back pocket.

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 07:52--

TT: Dave.

TG: sup rose

TT: This Is Kanaya Actually

TG: oh, heyo

TT: Hello

TG: wait, why do you have roses phone and or laptop

TT: She Has Stolen Mine

TG: shes drunk again isn't she

TT: She's Just A Bit Tipsy Yes

TG: living up to her mom’s legacy huh

TT: Were Getting Off Track

TG: what track were we even on

TG: like really

TT: Dave

TG: im listening

TT: Halloween Is Next Week 

TG: i am aware 

TT: Your Aunt Has Asked Us To Inform You That She Is Having A Party

TG: and

TT: She Won't Send You Any Preservatives This Christmas If You Don't Attend 

TG: dammit

TG: and your texting me because rose has plummeted herself into the warm embrace of alcohol so she won't have to deal with me whining to her

TT: Indeed

TG: great

TT: We'll See You Next Week Dave

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 08:01--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, i think imjust gonna update on mondays if thats cool


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: alcohol use in this chapter
> 
> and im gonna be updating on sundays,

Halloween, not my favorite holiday. I was never one for eating so much candy that you barf. I liked Christmas more, going over to aunt Roxy's and wearing ugly sweaters with Rose was always the highlight of my year. Its were I wasn't stuck in the apartment with Bro, Aunt Roxy has a big house. I seemed even bigger when I was younger, castle size even. The Knight and Seer, solving crimes and fighting dragons were the good times at Aunt Roxy's. Rose moved out a year or two ago to live with Kanaya and Jade ( They all had been together for about a year). But that didn't mean Christmas couldn't happen, Rose still lived in the area. I was looking forward to it, even though it was October.

I had just stepped out of the shower, now I had to decide what to wear. Although there was a beautiful opportunity to wear something ironic, I didn't want to. As I said, never liked this holiday much. I think I have one of those ugly Halloween shirts that were always clad in candy corn and black cats buried in the closet somewhere. Might as well put some effort into it, Rose might even like the gesture, right? Yeah, why not. I pull on some jeans before kneeling in front of my closet and began digging through it. A box tumbled out in my search, I had only nudged it out of the way. But it fell, only a couple things slipped out. It was a collection of all my old photos from high school and my ancient polaroid camera. I lift them out of the box, god it's been years since I've used this. I think it still has blank photos in them. I have always preferred the polaroid because you immediately get the photo, you don't have to wait till the film is full and go to walmart to get them produced. Yes the blank photos to refill the camera do cost a pretty penny but I always thought it was worth it. 

I toss the camera onto my bed and avoid looking through the already taken pictures. We all know where we would end up if I did that. So I continue rummaging, ah here we go. I pull the shirt from the closet.. It's orange and has a carved pumpkin, it read ‘let's get smashed’ and it was perfect .

I slip on a hoodie over the shirt because it was chilly out tonight. I looked at the polaroid on the bed, should I bring it? Could get a couple pictures of Roxy drunk, add it to the drunk aunt collection that's somewhere else in the closet. Yeah, let's do it. I pick up the camera and drape it around my neck. Collected the rest of my things, keys, phone, wallet. Then simply out the door and into the elevator, climbing in, I fish out earbuds from my hoodie and start listening to music and watch the elevator numbers climb down to the first floor. Strolling through the lobby and listening to Mother Mother, walking out into the breezy parking lot and climbing into Bro's musty smelling truck. Roxy's house was only about a half hour away, she lived near the mountains, on the outskirts of the city. It was quiet, well usually. Tonight, everyone will be partying, drinking, probably doing to do. When I was younger, Aunt Roxy would have Rose, Jade, John and I stay in the library so we wouldn't be trampled by everyone. It was alright though, we made pillow forts and ate candy apples. Those were probably my favorite part of Halloween, caramel over sweet apples just made my mouth water. 

Before you know it I was there, pulling up to the white house. Music was pouring through the windows and I could smell the kettle corn from Bro's car. I climb out and approach the door and it's thrown open before I could even go up the steps. I smile as Roxy emerges from the door, one hand holding a wine glass and the other was gripping the door frame to help balance herself.

"Dave, my sweet boy! Come to your Aunty!" She sways as she lets go of the door frame to reach for me. I catch her and smile, she had the warm feeling of home. Similar to Karkat's apartment but she felt more knowing, recognizable even. I remember when I was younger, I used to accidentally call her mom. She adored it though, she really did love you like a son. 

"Hey Aunt Roxy." I give her an awkward side hug and lead her back inside where the party is in full swing. The stainless furniture was either nowhere is sight or pushed flush against the wall. People were dancing and laughing, you could see Jade's Grandpa chatting with John's Nana in the corner. Roxy let go of me and joined them, swaying with each step. She shouldn't be wearing heels, I shrug and start climbing the steps. Rose should be up there hanging in the observatory, you get the best reception up there anyways. I walk through the balcony and go into the observatory, Jade is laying on the floor and looking up into the slightly opened observatory ceiling window thing. Rose was sitting on a blanket with Kanaya, a paperback book was discarded because they were passionately kissing. While John was nowhere to be found.

"Ew, stop sucking face. You'll get stuck that way." I left the door open, Kanaya tucked herself away behind Rose. Rose smirked as Jade chuckled, still looking up at the stars that were just beginning to come out. "Yall are nasty." I lean against the wall, hands promptly in my pockets.

"Tell me Dave," Rose looks at me. "How nasty are we?" 

"Enough."

"Perfect." She smiles.

"Where's Egderp." I ask.

"Picking someone up."Jade says, sitting up. It's now visible that Jade has on one of those headbands with ears on them, she also has a tail. Well it is Halloween, so i’m not gonna say anything out it.

"Gonna tell me who?"

"It'll be a better surprise if we don't." Rose comments, Kanaya still hasn't spoken. She was still blushing though.

"Ah, gotcha." I slip down so i’m sitting on the floor. "So, are you hiding the booze from me or are we going cold turkey?" I continue.

"We have that covered as well." Rose says, picking the book back up and continuing where she left off as Kanaya read over her shoulder.

"Wow, great job at clarifying. A plus Rose." I say, she smiles sweetly while still looking into the book.

"Thank you." She seemed generally happy but I knew it was just her sarcasm. Before I could say my next smug comment, I heard people bust through the door on the balcony and walk up the stairs to the observatory. The person who was making the commotion was almost immediately recognizable. I stood up and leaned back up against the wall. Gamzee walked into the room, balancing a 6 pack on his head and his face painted juggalo like.

"How's it going my miraculous sisters?" He smiles towards the girls, he notices me then dropped the case so he's only holding it in one hand.

"Dave! No one motherfucking told me you'd be here brother." He caught me into a hug, almost squeezing me to death.

"Rose is my cousin." I take a step back from him, he looked dumbfounded.

"Woah, shit really?" He smiles and looks back and forth from me and Rose.

"Gamzee, what the hell? Sure just leave me to carry all this crap up a million stairs, thanks pal!!" And here comes Karkat, balancing a cooler on his hip and dragging a couple folding chairs with his other hand. Gamzee spins around and picks up the chairs, bringing them inside, unfolding and placing them down. Karkat grunts as he drops the cooler next to the wall. I move to stand next to him.

"Hello." I say, drawing out the ‘O’. 

"Hey Achilles." He stands up straight and looks up at me.

"Oh same insult twice, I know you're better than that."

"You hardly know me shit breath." He crosses his arms and scowls at me.

"Well, I could if you let me." I wiggled my eyebrows at him, he looked as if he were about to burst.   
"Listen, I would rather shove a-"

"Oh stop getting your panties in a twist ladies, i'm here. Fret no longer! Terezi Pyrope attorney at law has arrived!" Terezi waltzes up the steps, walking between me and Karkat. She smiled a wicked grin and used her cane, in the process she managed to whack both Karkat and I in the shin.

“Ow, dammit Terezi!”

“What, gonna yell at the blind girl for being blind? Thats low even for a shorty like you!” She seemed genuinely angry but then smiled and ruffled Karkat’s hair.

“Where the same height!” He persisted but she turned to you.

“What's my favorite cool kid been up to?” She asked, I haven’t seen Terezi for awhile. She left for law school awhile back, she hasn’t changed much. Pale face littered with orange freckles and light brown hair. I remember in sophomore year, she dyed her hair with Kool Aid and it was a messy brown-red for a good month. God I’ve missed her. I give her a fist bump.

“Nothing much Pyrope, how's life in the big city?” I can see John come into the room, he was carrying equipment and gives a wave, I smile and give a nod back.

“It fucking sucks lemme tell you right off the bat, no one has any self respect anymore.” She crosses her arms and shakes her head. She then quickly turns it around when Rose pops open a bottle of cherry vodka. She strides over behind Rose and takes a long inhale. God I really have missed her. “Karkat, get your butt over here. You gotta have some of this!” She calls in his direction, he sighs and pulls a coke out of the cooler then walks over to Terezi where she's already drinking straight from the bottle. He pours the coke into a solo cup and yanks the drink from her grasp, then mixes his drink with the cherry vodka. Taking a sip, he hands bottle back and takes a seat in one of the folding chairs. On the other side of the room, John is setting up a stereo on a fold out table. Here we go, I walk to the table. 

“Y'all seem to be in the need of some sick jams.” I say, John looks up then smiles.

“Yes Mr.Cool Guy, please help us poor jam-less souls!” John crys, sitting on the table and watches me pull out my phone and begin to hook it up to the stereo system and laptop. Putting on a playlist with a variety of both some of my own mixes and some professional stuff. A song by Studio Killers comes on and people start loosening up.

\-----

I think I have enough pictures of Gamzee chugging a whole bottle of wine, god what is wrong with all the people I make friends with. I look around, Jade has her head resting in Rose’s lap while Kanaya is talking to Terezi who still is holding the bottle of vodka. Gamzee is still at that wine as John stares in awe, I think he's a little buzzed as well. I on the other hand is living up to my shirt, well like half way but whatever. I look around for Karkat, he's not in the folding chair and nowhere to be seen. You take a sip of your hard cider ( don’t judge, it's good) and climb down the stairs. I can still hear the music from the bottom of the stairs, Do I Wanna Know? By Arctic Monkeys begins to play. I reach the bottom, Karkat was sitting on the side of the hallway/ balcony whatever this structure is. He had his legs were through the bars of the railing and dangling them off the edge, he was humming to the tune and leaning on the back of his palms while looking out onto the forest. I sit next to him, legs crossed. He doesn’t look at me, just takes a sip of whatever is in his solo cup now. I fiddle with the bottle in my hands, I didn’t expect this to be awkward. 

“So..” I start,hoping to spark a conversation. It's not like I can bail and just go back upstairs, it felt a little crowded anyways. He looks at me, bored.

“What.” He says, I probably should have stayed up in the observatory. 

“Didn’t think you would want to come all the way up here.” I say, he turns his attention back to the forest.

“Rose is very persistent.” 

“Yeah.” We go silent for while.

“Don’t you wanna go back upstairs?” He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

“No, I’ll just hang out here a little while longer. Seems like a party out here.” The wind whips through my hair, I could hear that Jade took over the music upstairs. Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk starts playing. Karkat sighs and leans forward, resting his forehead on the bars. 

“Your funeral.” He says with his eyes closed, sipping his drink again.

“You ok man?” I wanted to give him a pat on the back or something but I hesitated. 

“No, Yeah I mean.” He looks over to you. “I’m just a sad drunk you know?” 

“Ah, I see. Thats cool man, I get it.” I say, he nods and leans forward so his cheek is pressed to the bars. I take a drink of my hard cider. “This was fun, we should hang out more buddy.” I say, patting him on the back.

“Go...go suck a dick..Strider.” He slurs.

“I’ll make sure to take a note.”


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it weird that i already hate writing this? Like not really hate but i feel like its not written well and its dumb and cliche. whatever just blah. heres some sad children.you should be familiar with the movie references, just look them up if your confused

It's a week or so after the party at Roxy's, it ended when the police came after a noise complaint. But who the hell could hear us from all the way out here? Anyways, it was fun. I got more pictures of Terezi almost licking a cop and Aunt Roxy flirting with another. Right now i'm laying upside down on my couch, watching MythBusters. Jeez, I should stop, my head is getting dizzy and my glasses are slipping off my face but it's not too bright out today, I think it's gonna rain later. Perhaps a movie day is in order...

\--

"Karkat." I call, knocking on his door. "C'mon man, I know it's your day off!" I hear a grunt from the other side and shuffling towards the door. He opens it, hair a mess and looking bored. 

"What, yes it's my day off so tell me why I should waste it talking to you?" He narrows his eyes at me.

"Man, I was hoping to watch some of these rad movies with someone." I had brought a good sum of movies from all genres in my backpack, he took the bag and starting flipping through the films. He hands them back.

"Alright, you have convinced me." He turns around, leaving the door open. "Come on, just going to stand there?" He says, not looking back to me. I step into the apartment, it smelled sweet. Like cinnimon maybe?

"Sweet, ok let's do this." I sit on the couch, his blanket is on the other side and i'm tempted to wrap myself in the soft fabric. I set my bag on the coffee table, Karkat comes back with a bottle of water and I can hear popcorn popping from behind me. He sets the drink on the table and walks over to the tv, making sure the dvd player was hooked up. He then dug through my bag, pulling out some movies. Either to watch them later or to just get them out so he could look at the ones on the bottom. I heard the beeping of the microwave so I stood and walked into the kitchen. I could hear him putting the disc in the dvd player as I pulled the bag out from the microwave, I haven't had a proper movie day in ages. I shake the bag and return to the couch where Karkat is already bundled up in his electric blanket, watching the beginning ads roll through. Looking to the table, I see the box for Moulin Rouge. 

"Haha, nice." I say, opening the bag. The salty smell taking over the apartment.

"I haven't seen this movie for the longest time." He shakes his head. 

"Man, I forgot I even owned this." I say as he takes a handful of popcorn, eyes focused on the beginning scenes. I look at him, like really look. Many dark freckles were peppered upon his mocha skin, a dark brown mop that was somehow allowed to be called hair. Round nose to match his big brown eyes, above them were thick eyebrows. I should pay attention to the movie now, it's what I came down here for. We were silent for the rest of the film, aside from a chuckle or two. I think to myself for a moment, have I ever seen Karkat laugh or even smile before? The credits roll and I dig through my bag, Karkat was leaning onto the arm of the couch and recovering from the death of one of the main characters, just watching the actor’s and producer’s names scrawl up the screen. I pull my choice out and replace Moulin Rouge.

"What's that?" He asks.

" Oh it's Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog" I say, placing the film back into the box and into my bag. I sit back onto the couch while the select screen appears. "I love this movie, it's definitely your cup of tea man trust me" I smile, he pulls the blanket tighter against himself. 

\-----

“Ok, all i’m saying is that while he had plenty of time to shoot him.” I say. “I get it, it’s crucial to the plot but still. She would be alive and he would have won.”

“No no, just look at him!” He gestures to the tv, even though the movie was over. “He was hesitant, Billy was never a true ‘mwhaha, kill everyone’ villain. He had standards, just wanted a better society.”

“Yeah, I guess but they coulda been so happy together.” I lean my head on the back of the couch so i’m looking into the kitchen. He pats my shoulder gently.

“It's ok, I don’t think Penny would have enjoyed the life of being the girlfriend of someone who's in the evil league of evil.” He says. I look at him, not moving my head.

“But Billy would have tremendously helped her and the homeless shelter.” 

“How would the league think of that? Bad Horse would-”

“You mean the thoroughbred of sin?” I interrupt. He cracks a smile and I feel a slight ping in my chest and sit up straight. The smile lights up his face, it looked a little aquward but he should smile more often. 

“Yes, the thoroughbred of sin might not approve of that.” He's still smiling, thats it. I pledge to be the one to make Karat smile more becasue the universe needs this.

“Dude.” I say

“What?”

“I didn’t think you had the capacity to smile, have I witnessed a week late halloween miracle?” I adjust my glasses and he tries to hide the smile but fails.

“Shut the fuck up.” He punches me in the shoulder.

“Ouch, Karkat how could you do this to me? I thought we were friends.” I say, gripping my shoulder in false pain.

“Suck it up and put on Zombieland.” He slumps into the couch and props his feet on the coffee table. I stand to retrieve the disc and bow to Karkat.

“Yes your majesty.” I say gracefully, he tries to kick me but misses. 

About 4 movies later and some order out pizza, Karkat stands up and stretches, letting the blanket fall off him.

“Alright, now surprisingly I haven't thought about committing suicide during our time together so gold star for you. But go home.” 

“Oh come on, don’t kick me out man.”

“Too bad, so sad. Now leave, I gotta take my medication.” He leaves the room but I follow anyways. 

“Oh yeah?” He walkes into the bathroom and I lean against the frame.

“Don’t make me hit you again.” He opens the cabinet above his sink.

“You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses would you?” He looks at me with a pill in his hand, shakes his head and takes it. Then drinks some water from the faucet and walks back into the living room. “What do you need medication for?” I follow him. 

“I’ve got a deadly disease and if you don’t leave me alone i’ll get you contaminated.” He says sarcastically. 

“Come on man, seriously.” I say while he begins to cleaning up the living room, I follow him and help a bit.

He sighs. “ I have sickle cell anemia, mystery solved.”

“Oh, sorry man. Thats gotta suck.” I knew what sickle cell was and I know it's not fun.

“Yeah, can you leave now?” He snapped, holding his empty water bottle.

“Yeah, sorry man. Didn’t mean to step on any toes here.” I picked up my bag and backed up out of the apartment. I heard him mutter something else but I didn’t catch it. My apartment was cold and it did indeed start to rain about 2 movies ago. I felt bad about asking him about his meds, god I must have sounded so ignorant. I drop my movie bag on the couch and drag myself to the bathroom and take a shower.

\-----

Karkat and I basically hang out whenever none of us are working, it was nice to feel welcomed somewhere. Somewhere that was always warm and smelled like something sweet, whenever we didn’t have popcorn of course. Movie days were frequent, usually on Fridays because that's when the both of us were off work. I looked forward to the fridays I got to spend with Karkat and sometimes Gamzee, it was something distracting, something that I honestly wouldn’t give up for the world. 

It was late November, it was snowing pretty hard and it was Friday so I had my movies shoved in my bag and was riding the elevator down to floor 6. Rocking back and forth on my heels, perhaps we should watch Repo The Genetic Opera? Or maybe rewatch The Time Traveler’s’ Wife, even though it makes me well up. It's a good movie all in all. I exit the elevator and knock on his door, Gamzee opens it, looking worried. 

“Dave, thank god you're here.” He opens the door wider and I walk in.

“What's the matter?” I ask, setting my bag on the table.

“Karkat is out on the balcony and won’t come back inside.” He looks out the balcony door where, yes Karkat is sitting in one of the chairs that were out there and staring at the falling snow. His blanket isn't on him but neatly folded on the couch, he also is only in his pajamas. I pick up the blanket and open the balcony door and he doesn't even turn his head, he knew it was me. He pulled his knees up to his chest and tried not to look.. 

“What are you doing out here man, you're gonna-” I start but he interrupts.

“What, have a crisis?” He snaps, looking at me but turning away again.

“...Catch a cold.” I finish, he leans away from me. “Come back inside and we can talk about this, please.” I plead, the rising snow was soaking my shoes and pant legs. He says nothing, I sigh and unfold the blanket. Turning it on, as it hums to life I drape it over his shoulders. He doesn’t move, he was starting to shake from the cold. I was wearing a sweatshirt so it would be awhile before I get chilly. I pull one of the chairs next to him and sit down, putting my hands in my sweatshirt pocket. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, it's dumb and childish.” He shakes his head and curls into himself.

“I’m not going to force you to do anything, but i’m here for you man. All i’m saying is that I can’t help if you don’t tell me what's wrong.” I shrug, I could feel the heat of the blanket waving off of him.

“I don’t want any help, I can deal with this myself.” He looked as if he just wanted to tuck himself out of existence.

“Alright.” I lean back onto the chair and breath out, watching my breath gently float away from me. Winter is probably my favorite season, there's so many things you can do to keep warm in Winter. Drink something warm, walk around the house with a quilt, put on a jacket or take a hot bath, the possibilities are endless. I thought of going upstairs and taking a bath, the soft smells and steam making it so my nose wasn’t stuffed for the first time this month. We were probably sitting there for a good five minutes before Karkat’s breath began to hitch, he leaned forward, his legs falling to the floor of the balcony and tried to catch his breath. I followed him, placing a hand on his back and rubbing gentle circles. He used his elbow to shake me off.

“I said...I don’t need your help.” His breathing was rapid and he was still shaking, he was having a panic attack.

“Karkat.” He looks at me from the corner of his eye, he blinks slowly and his breath eases. He sits back sharply, tugging the blanket closer. 

“I.. I don’t ..” He begins

“Want my help I know, but you have it.” I say, he looks like he's gonna hyperventilate again. He looks at me completely, tears welling in his round eyes. 

“I’m sick of this.” He says.

“This?” 

“This! Me! Everyone pitying me, helping me! Like i’m some child.” He almost yells, looking back to the city under us. “I can take care of myself but here I am! You know Gamzee is here because my dad didn’t want me to live alone?”

“No.” I say quietly, allowing him to let it all out.

“Well he did, he-he said ‘ what if something happens, what if you have a crisis?’ i’m not a fucking five years old! I sent myself through medical school without your fucking help! I don’t need your goddamn input on everything I do. Everyday, everyday living with him. He would tell me to be careful, ‘ease into the pool Karkat, we don’t need you having a crisis’, ‘bundle up Karkat, it's cold. You're going to have a crisis’.” Tears started to stream and hiccups interrupted sentences. “Crisis this, crisis that. Like I know Mom is dead, Dad! You don’t have to remind me every goddamn forsaken day of my pathetic fucking life!” He was screaming at this point, I think he forgot I was even there. I never knew my parents, but losing your mother must be a terrible thing to go through. He pulled himself into a ball and lowered his voice. “I know i’d be better off dead but I don’t need to be reminded all the damn time.” He said to himself, he jumped when I wrapped my arms around him, like he remembered he just told me all of that. He didn’t move, he was warm and felt like coming home home to a warm bed after getting soaked in the rain.

“Well you don’t live there anymore.” I say softly, i’m trying my best. I wasn't the best at comforting people.

“But they don’t leave me alone and it doesn’t matter. He helps me pay my medical bills.” He shakes his head against my chest, his hair getting even more ruffled. He puts his ear up to my chest, probably listening to my heart beat. “They worry about me too much, they would be better off without me.” 

“They?” 

“M-my brother.” He said like it physically pained him to speak. “The constant eye over me when I wasn’t home. Fretting over everything I did. Do.” He corrected, he fiddled with the hem of the blanket. 

“Oh.” I thought of Bro for a moment, but shook it out of my head.

“They shouldn’t carry my weight, they've been through enough.” I could feel him breathing against me, his arm twitched. 

“ There's nothing wrong with a little help and besides they're not carrying you. Look,” I tilt my head to the apartment, Gamzee wasn’t in sight. “You have a home, someone who cares enough to live with you and people who want to see you safe.” I look down at him and he looks up, tear stained and red face, probably from the cold. I could see our breath. “Were all lucky to have you Karkat and I would be pretty bummed if you weren't my neighbor.” I smiled, he did too and it made the embrace all the better. He put his head back on my chest and wrapped his arms around me.

“Thanks Dave.” 

“No problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> omg this is my first time using the homestuck skin so it took my like a hour to get that stupid pesterchum chat so please tell me if i did anything wrong, thank you


End file.
